How to Control Emotions.

 A post came through my fb feed recently with the question “How do you control emotions?”  There was a variety of responses. Some said meditation.  Some said yoga. There were various versions of mind control. Some had suggestions to distract the attention to something else like exercise or dance. Some said to ignore them because they aren’t real. Some said to embrace the emotions and love them. I thought this might be a good time to discuss my view of how emotions factor into our experience of life, and how it relates to unwanted conditions. 

First of all, I would like to say that trying to control emotions is pointless. Emotions happen, they are usually in response to something, when they happen, it’s already done. It’s a bit like the old saying, the horse is already out of the gate at that point. And, in many cases it’s a bit like trying to control the wind in a middle of a thunderstorm. In most cases the best we can hope for is to try and re-direct the response to whatever the emotions are about. Which is what most of the suggested methods that are offered out in the world, are attempting to do, is to try and modify how the reaction or response occurs.

So, what is my approach? You might ask.  My view is that if we can clean up the cause of emotional reactions, by removing what causes the reactions, then the unwanted reaction never happens, and we don’t need to control the emotions.

Let’s start with a few basic ideas about how emotions relate to our experiences. First, the nature of emotions is that they want to be acknowledged and expressed in order to process and dissipate naturally. If we do that well, emotions will pass through as we experience things, and go on their way, dissipating and disappearing, as they are intended.

But first let’s back up a step and put emotions into context of the bigger picture of how it fits into our human experience.  Our human vessel is composed of several types of systems.  In addition to the physical body, we have several systems that are about subtle energies.  These subtle energies compose what I call the energy system, or energy field, which includes what is commonly referred to as the aura, which, is like a bubble of energies that surround the physical form.

The subtle energy system includes the chakras, which many have become familiar with lately, but also include a series of layers in the surrounding energy field, referred to in some metaphysical materials as the subtle bodies. There are several subtle bodies, but the three primary subtle energy bodies, that I have found compose the majority of influence on our experience of life, are the emotional body, the mental body, and the causal body.  I consider this loosely corresponds to the eastern holistic model commonly expressed as “body, mind, spirit.”  However, in my opinion, I think for the reference to be complete it would be body, emotion, mind, and spirit,  but that’s another discussion.

The point of the discussion of the energy system is that each of these aspects of the energy system has it’s own type of energies, and plays a major part of our search for solutions of how to create change in our experience of life. And, all three of these energies work together to produce the overall effect that we experience.  So, in order to have an effective process of causing change in life, each of these three types of energies need to be addressed according to their unique character.  This is one of the reasons I refer to the process I developed as Wholistic Transformation.  But, enough of that rabbit trail, back to the subject of emotions.

Emotions were meant to be one of our senses to interpret our experiences. When emotions are processed and expressed in a healthy manner, emotions, flow through our experience and dissipate naturally. However, our society doesn’t promote conditions that are conducive for healthy emotions.  So, there is a common tendency for emotions to not be processed and released properly, which leaves those emotions stuck in the energy field. Over time there can be many old emotions that are churning around in the energy field, a bit like a swarm of bees.

Emotions are meant to be part of our interpretation and experience of the present conditions. But, if a person has accumulated many emotions in the past that have not been resolved and cleared, what seems to them to be emotions and reactions to the current circumstances, are actually reactions of those old emotions of the past, that are still present in the energy field. So, rather than reacting to the current experience, they are actually experiencing emotions that are from something in the past.  And, to skip to the chase for a moment, most of those reactions that show up, originate in experiences during early childhood.  And, this is the essence of the approach I have developed, it’s all about what was experienced during the initial period of childhood. But, I digress a bit, back to emotions.

So let’s get to the point of what to do about emotions. Clearing and releasing emotions is not difficult if we honor what they need.  Emotions want to be acknowledged and expressed. If we do that then emotions will release and dissipate, well, mostly, there’s a bit more involved, but we’ll come back to that. 

Basically, if we identify and acknowledge the emotion, and express that in an appropriate manner, it will go away.  So, a very simple, but very effective exercise is to write down the feelings. Identify what the feeling is and write it down. This gives it the acknowledgement it needs, and a suitable form of expression.  When done thoroughly, this exercise can make a significant difference in how one feels. 

But, there is more to consider. There is more involved than just emotions. As I discussed earlier, there are three main aspects of our human condition; emotional, mental and spiritual.  All three of these energies are connected together, or “stuck together” as I call it, when there are patterns that are affecting the experience of the present. So any effort to produce significant change in life, that only deals with emotions, and does not also address the mental and spiritual aspects, will be incomplete, and will not fully address the underlying cause of whatever the undesirable conditions are.

Well, this has become much too long, again.  Going back to the original discussion of how to manage emotions, if the emotions are addressed to acknowledge and release them, they will stop happening. However, we need to also understand that the emotions are also connected to the mental aspect, and the spiritual aspect; the thought patterns and beliefs. And, it all is most likely the result of something that occurred during childhood that has been stuck in the subconscious, and shows up as recurring reactions to various circumstances in the present.  If the source of those reactions is addressed, to release the emotions, as well as the thought patterns, and beliefs, then it all stops happening, no more reactions, no more emotions about it.  No more need to control the emotions.  To me, this is what is effective.

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